Dreams, Goals and Writer's Block

I realized I was going to aim this at people with bipolar disorder, but come on! It's named "The Chaotic Mind" for a reason. LOL

I've been working on a novel out on Wattpad and I'm putting it up a chapter at a time. Yesterday, I had a friend "sit with me" via Facebook chat and tell me exactly what he thought of the book and where it was derailing. I LOVE friends like that. He does it in the sweetest way but gets in my face and says exactly what he thinks. Perhaps I'm developing a thicker skin. Or maybe it's because I knew it was going wonky and I couldn't figure out how, what, where and he pinpointed it for me. Either way! It worked.What is interesting is what that conversation sparked.

I started writing short stories and the like starting in 5th grade. I wrote all the time and I was always swamped with ideas. I still remember the last thing I wrote. I was 19 and had submitted a short story to my Science Fiction teacher based loosely off Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash." I still remember that glowing feeling I had when I got the story back with an A- on it. My teacher was a published author, so that was huge. I would have gotten a better grade, but I did it in my usual fashion and wrote it the night before it was due. Yeah. For some reason, that always leads to crappy endings. LOL You can tell how huge that was for me. I still remember it down to the last detail and it's almost 20 years later. It was at that point I realized I might be able to have my dream of becoming a published author. Then something happened....

I don't even know WHAT happened. Around that time, I left school and started working full time. I eventually got married and had my first child. Got a divorce. Worked some more, got remarried. I had two more children...  Yeah, most people would say "life happened." However, is that a cop out?

I look back on those years I wrote without barely having to think about it and now I feel like there's a door slammed across that region of my mind where creativity resides. Well, story creativity anyway. I can still quilt and knit like no one's business. However, the work of getting a story idea out is difficult. Difficult doesn't even begin to sum it up. For the past 13 years, I've been using other people's ideas. Usually they're abandoned plot bunnies that someone else couldn't get to work or were given to me with the person's blessing.

If you're still with me in this long-drawn out story, I'll tell you what I learned yesterday. Life didn't happen. Writer's block happened. However, it wasn't your usual writer's block where you do everything in your power to keep from writing. Nope. I looked at the failures in the rest of my life and figured it would happen to my writing as well, so what's the point? BLAM! Your worst case scenario ever for writer's block. I shut the door on my writing creativity. Now, it's time to break that block and get going again.

Yesterday, I was out on the Writer's Digest website. I ended up in their store looking around. I was looking for writing prompts. I needed little ideas to help me focus on short stories and move on from there. Time to find out who I became in the last 3 years because I had serious upheaval in my life. It changed who I was and it changed my writing style. While I was browsing, I came across their sale on the "Creative Idea Kit." It's a set of books, webinars and writing prompts all designed to help you regain your creative side. Perfect! There's only one way to break through writer's block, and that is to write every single day. Whether you feel like it or not, WRITE! In my case, I take that to mean creative writing, not journaling or blogging. That's easy. No, I need the creative side, the side that makes me stretch my imagination and see all the possibilities.

I've pulled my first prompt and I'm excited to try this. Now to wait for my head to clear from the fogginess I always endure every morning from my meds. Then watch out. ;-)